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Money and happiness were never two words I believed could truly belong together—at least, not for someone like me.
For years, I carried this quiet, inherited belief that people with money were greedy, selfish, or untrustworthy. I never fully bought into the idea that “money is the root of all evil,” but that mindset clung to me, shaping how I viewed wealth, spending, and self-worth.
I grew up surrounded by an older generation’s way of talking by describing people as “rich” or “well-off” based on their jobs, cars, or houses. At the time, these labels weren’t something I questioned; they simply were. Over time, however, I came to understand how those remarks tied your value to your income. Even though my husband and I eventually established a comfortable financial life, I still felt unprepared, disconnected, and even guilty about money.
I didn’t know how to budget, and I never felt empowered when it came to financial planning. It wasn’t until I began exploring Money EQ; our emotional relationship with money that everything began to shift. I realized I needed not just tools, but peace with money itself. I had to unlearn the guilt and embrace the idea that the more gratitude and awareness I brought to money, the more effortlessly it would flow.
Want to start healing your own money story?
Ken Honda’s class, The Japanese Art of Healing Your Money Wounds, was the beginning of a complete mindset shift for me—and it’s just one of many life-changing programs inside Mindvalley’s All-Access Membership.
If you’re ready to improve your financial confidence, mindset, and peace around money, this is where I recommend you start.
3 Big Money Mindset Shifts I’ve Made in My 40s
1. Money Isn’t a Character Trait: It’s a Tool
Growing up, I often heard relatives describe people based on how much money they appeared to have. Terms like “rich” or “well-off” were used casually because someone had a “good job” or material markers of success. I never questioned it~it was simply how we talked about people.
Now I realize how deeply those offhand comments influenced me. They tied success and character to a person’s income or job title, so much so that I once believed my worth was connected to these external factors. But the truth is clear: being rich or poor doesn’t define your value. You are not your income, and money isn’t a measure of who you are.
Money is a tool and something you can use to create memories, build stability, and share joy with the people you love. Letting go of those early judgments has freed me from constant comparison. I no longer chase money or fear it; instead, I focus on how I use it to support a life that matters
2. Avoiding Money Doesn’t Protect You—It Holds You Back
For years, my husband and I avoided sticking to a real budget. We paid our bills and checked our balances, convincing ourselves that was “good enough.” But in reality, we were flying by the seat of our pants,spending on fancy dinners, coffee shop runs, and impulse purchases without a clear plan.
This casual approach eventually began to weigh heavily on me. I felt anxious about our future yet was too overwhelmed to face the details. Avoiding money management didn’t keep me safe; it only deepened my insecurity and disconnected me from our financial reality.
Taking ownership meant learning the basics of budgeting, tracking our spending, and setting realistic goals. And what a transformation that brought! I finally felt empowered and in control.
This is why I connected so deeply with Ken Honda’s teachings.
His perspective on Money EQ helped me realize that money isn't just a math problem, it’s an emotional relationship. And if you want to shift your earning, spending, and saving habits, you need to heal that relationship first.
👉 You can watch The Japanese Art of Healing Your Money Wounds—and explore dozens of other mindset and abundance trainings—inside the Mindvalley Membership.
3. Gratitude Creates Flow—Scarcity Creates Fear
I’ve always practiced gratitude for my family, health, and life’s small wins but applying gratitude to money was a game changer. I began writing in my gratitude journal daily and even started saying “thank you” when I paid a bill. That simple act of appreciation transformed my relationship with money.
By consciously celebrating every financial blessing, whether it’s the ability to buy nourishing food, maintain a comfortable home, or invest in my well-being I’ve shifted from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. I no longer spend out of fear or guilt; instead, I spend with awareness and gratitude. This change has not only improved my spending habits but has also increased my earning capacity and overall financial confidence.
Now, I view money as a valuable friend and a tool to help create and enjoy the life I love.
Signs You Have a Disempowered Money Story
Before you can change your relationship with money, you must recognize the story you’ve been living. Here are some common signs that you might be carrying a disempowered money story:
- Guilt or Shame: Feeling guilty every time you spend money, even on necessities.
- Fear of Wanting More: Believing that wanting more money makes you selfish or materialistic.
- Avoidance: Dodging bank statements or bills due to anxiety.
- Discomfort in Discussion: Feeling uneasy talking about money with friends or partners.
- Self-Limiting Beliefs: Convincing yourself that you’re just “bad with money” and always will be.
- Procrastination: Telling yourself you'll start budgeting “next month” or “when things calm down.”
If any of these resonate, know that you’re not alone and that every step you take toward healing your money story is a step toward a more empowered future. Tools like Ken Honda’s masterclass can help you uncover and transform those limiting beliefs.
👉 Click here to explore Mindvalley’s All-Access Membership and access Ken Honda’s full class along with dozens of other powerful courses.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve ever felt trapped by a disempowered money story mirrored in guilt, fear, or avoidance, it’s never too late to rewrite that narrative. True financial empowerment comes from healing your relationship with money, shifting from scarcity to gratitude, and embracing the tools and teachings that help you thrive.
For me, learning about Money EQ and adopting a gratitude mindset has transformed my life. I now see money as a partner in living my best life and a tool that, when managed with awareness and appreciation, allows abundance to flow naturally.
👉 Watch Ken Honda’s class and explore the Mindvalley Membership here.
Thanks for sharing these insights! I’ve definitely felt a little guilt when spending, especially when it comes to coffee, takeout, etc. My husband have a budget laid out, but we don’t really track spending month to month so it’s almost like the budget is just a guideline. I keep wanting to pay more attention to what we’re spending. I will definitely take your advice! Thank you 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing such a refreshing and honest perspective. It’s empowering to see how you’re redefining success and shifting your financial mindset in a way that prioritizes peace, purpose, and joy. This was such a valuable reminder that it’s never too late to take control and create a more fulfilling relationship with money🙂
Thank you for sharing these valuable insights! I often experience some guilt regarding my spending, especially when it comes to coffee, takeout, and similar indulgences. Although I work from home and am self-employed, I don’t consistently track my monthly expenses, which makes it feel more like a guideline than a strict plan. I genuinely want to pay more attention to my spending habits. Since 2025, so much has changed, and adapting has been a valuable lesson for me. I will certainly take your advice to heart! Thank you! 🙂
I loved this post, it is so relatable! I’ve been on a similar journey of unlearning old money beliefs and focusing more on what brings joy and peace. Seeing someone talk about financial mindset shifts with honesty and heart is refreshing. Thanks for the inspiration!
Thank you for sharing this powerful perspective on creating a healthy money blueprint. I am not yet 40, but I commîtes to implementing the right habits before then.
Great post and lots of great information
It’s refreshing to see such honest discussions about financial habits and the guilt associated with spending. Tracking expenses can feel overwhelming, but it’s clear that setting a budget is just the first step. Taking control of your finances is empowering and can lead to a more fulfilling relationship with money. How do you plan to implement these changes in your daily life? Recently, I came across a program for GPT-generated text (генерация текста) in Russian. The cool part is that it runs locally on your own computer, and the output is actually unique and quite decent. By the way, I hope the content on your site isn’t AI-generated?
I really appreciate the honesty in this post about the challenges of managing spending guilt. It’s refreshing to see someone openly discuss the struggle with tracking expenses and sticking to a budget. The idea of prioritizing peace and joy over strict financial rules is inspiring. How do you find balance between maintaining a budget and allowing yourself some flexibility? German news in Russian (новости Германии)— quirky, bold, and hypnotically captivating. Like a telegram from a parallel Europe. Care to take a peek?
It’s amazing how our subconscious beliefs sets the trajectory of lives. Figuring out our money stories will help not just how we manage our finances but also how we live our life. Thank you for highlighting the importance. Great resources!